On our way to the library (a very cost effective afternoon out), I was quite dumb-founded to be informed by my little car that it was 3 degrees in the form of an ice-alert. Ice! 3 degrees! In October.....October! And too right. It has been bloody freezing. We are now in the times of socks a well as shoes, and coats and jumpers on rather than in the car or in a bag at the ready. While the insufferable weather of winter draws ever near, I am now adapting my new love and collection of shoes by branching out into boots! Hoorah for boots!
An update on the relationship dramatics. Last night became the opportunity to right the previous weeks trauma. Although one becomes a little weary of always being the one making the effort to amend things. Perhaps wrongly I did not venture into conversation over the way I had felt recently, but focused more on intimacy and touch - something seldom found between us of late. In a flippant flirtatious remark I responded to D's 'god I ache all over, my body is old and giving up', with, 'maybe I should shoot you now and claim on your insurance'. It got a laugh - but then D almost ruined the whole situation with a mood killing 'did you here that a cat in the village was shot?!' Perfect timing. Delightful pillow talk. Well, to cut the story short we overcame the delay in 'the moment', however although the intense feeling has resolved between us, something still doesn't feel right. Not quite sure what is the right move now.
I am so excited about my night shifts tonight and tomorrow, I can hardly contain my excitement...... Very low morale at work at present. Ever increasing stress levels and ever decreasing praise for performance under difficult circumstances, combined with an emerging 'blame culture' and increasingly defensive practice. Not nice to say the least. And it is the women who will suffer - or will at least have miserable midwives! At least I didn't get the night shift with the extra hour! Be thankful for small mercies.
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